me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
