Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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