when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
