You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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