We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
