if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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