your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
