Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
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I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
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Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
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