do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Randomize
