Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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