I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
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