You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
