Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
