How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize