I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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