bring money and cleavage
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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