Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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