She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
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Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
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It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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