no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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