So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
