I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
