if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
