she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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