The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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