We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
