I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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