Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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