I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
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