and you said cock pushups were impossible
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
