He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
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