Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
North Korea, Best Korea!
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
