the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
