I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Randomize
