i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
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