is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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