its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
