Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
