So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
