I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
He? As in you personified your dick?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
