he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Randomize
