Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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