It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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