I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Do you have feelings for this penis?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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