can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
