69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
