Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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