you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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