she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize
