Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
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