i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize