There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
NoShamevember. You game?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
