Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
These Are 21 Of The Most Delusional People Ever
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.