I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
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Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I would fuck him just for his dog
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.