dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.