I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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